The Early Life Story So I Don't Have To Explaing It to You Blog

Ok from the beginning...

Let's see, I was born August 6th, 1993 at the Presbyterian Hospital. My dad was 21 and my mom was older, I don't know how much older because I haven't talked to her in almost 6 years, but we'll get to that later. So at this point I have one biological brother named Albert and that's it thank whoever.
Obviously I don't remember much as a freakin' infant but I have a few vague memories from my grandma's (on my mom's side) house like killing cattepillars, crawling through cabinets, and my gay uncles penis cake (traumatizing!). My parents got divorced when I was young so I don't really remember anything about that. All I know is that my mom got custody.
I can say after I turned 5, I pretty much remember everything, except for meeting my step-mom which is really sad because she's the most important parent in my life.

This next part is so exciting I had to put a space inbetween paragraphs!!!

So some time after I turn five, my mom gets a boyfriend named Tony and he has three kids. We all lived in Las Vegas and Alberquerque (we moved alot). The eldest, Shelby, who had been molested by her babysitter or something I don't know. The middle child, Lauren, and the youngest, Steffan. Now with all five of us kids together, Albert is the oldest, then Shelby, then me, then Lauren, and then Steffan. We were all one year apart at least so ages were pretty easy to know. But getting back to their dad...
Now Tony was this ex-marine who was just full of himself. He liked to get drunk, watch fake wrestling, be obsessed over the Dallas freakin' Cowboy's, and beat his children, including my brother and I.
I don't remember the beatings when the first began, which is weird to me because I can remember meeting Tony but then there's a blackout until after the beatings have started. I think the event was just so traumatizing I might've subconsciously blocked the memories.
For awhile we, all five of us kids with the oldest being 7 or 8, were mainly hit on the bare ass with belts by Billie (my bio-mom) and Tony. Now you have to think about this, I was a 5 or 6 year old little boy who would be hit repeatedly on the ass with a leather belt by a 30 something year old man who had been in the Marines, for doing nothing.
Jamie (bio-dad) and Candi (step-mom) either noticed or we told them about the beatings. They confronted Tony and Billie but they just gave some stupid excuse like "they deserved it and it was only once". After hearing this, what're kids supposed to think if they hear their own mom lying. I was so confused.
What they said was obviously a lie because the beatings continued. Tony and Billie felt that the belts weren't as effective anymore so they went from physical abuse, to emotional/psychological abuse. They would starve us or make us work for our food by having us do chores in an unrealistic amount of time. Sometimes they'd make us eat the raw spinach out of a can. Eventually we began stealing food from gas stations and such but we never did get caught. Every now and then, Tony would come home in a drunken rage and beat anyone who was in his way.
Tony always seemed to pick on me. Albert and Steffan both liked to watch wrestling with Tony and the girls had eachother to play dolls and stuff. I never liked wrestling or playing with dolls so I read alot of my Dr.Seuss books. Of course Tony didn't like this. I remeber one time Tony asked me why I didn't like wrestling. I said because it's stupid, fake, and violent and that I didn't like that. Well I don't think he liked that because he grabbed my 6 year old kindergardener neck, lifted me off the floor and yelled at me calling me a fag and a dirty mexican. He spit on me then threw me against the wall. I was crying and he told me to stop but I couldn't. I got hit with the metal studded belt that night.
I went with Jamie, Candi, Jake, and Albert a short time after that and while I was changing, my parents saw my bruised bare butt. I don't remember what they said but they obviously weren't happy. So they called an attorney and they contacted child protective whoever and they sent someone to our school.
This all took awhile and Tony and Billie knew that it was coming. So they were spent a few weeks being nice to Albert. Nope not me, Albert. They felt it was a waste of time to be concerned with me because I was too young and my say in the whole thing didn't matter. So on top of still being punished everyday, I had to endure watching my brother get treated like royalty.
So the day came when the child services lady came. They pulled me out of recess, of course, and asked me all the questions and I answered truthfully. They questioned us both seperately so I didn't know what Albert was saying but I had a pretty good idea as to what. When it was done we told each other what we said and not suprisingly, Albert lied. He told them right when we got home. They yelled at me and told me that I was a horrible kid. They threw a garbage bag at me and told me to pack my clothes because child services was probably going to pick me up. They had me sit outside while I waited. I prayed for them to come and take me away from them and to live with my dad.
They never came.
I slept outside that night with no dinner. I was pretty much shunned for a few more weeks. But even after the beatings still continued. Tony threw VHS tapes at me, he constantly called me names, and hit me alot with the studded belt.
Then it progressed which is hard to believe it could. He began to let his kids hit us if we did something to them. One time I accidentally broke Steffan's PS2. So Tony came home and Steffan went up to him crying, He pulled me out from under my bed because I was hiding cause I knew this would happen. He stood me up in his room and put a towel over my head so I couldn't see. He told me that I couldn't move my arms and that Steffan could hit me wherever for as how long he wanted. I kept raising my arms, instinctively and Tony would punch me and tell me not to. It was pretty horrible.
Anyway, a couple more years of this and Billie and Tony get in a fight outside and they go to jail. My dad comes and is granted temporary custody. So we go to live with him in Oregon. Then the day of the custody hearing and my mom doesn't even show up. It hurt so much. I know she did horrible things but it's like living through your own abortion. You parent doesn't even show up to show that they actually want you. I know mainly with those two, Billie and Tony, were in it for the child support which is why they kept us for so long because Tony could've given the kids to his ex-wife Tracey.

I moved out to Oregon hoping my life would be better. It was, but not in all ways possible. No beatings ever took place and I ate every meal and then some. It's just that while I lived with Billie and Tony, they sometimes didn't let us go to school and I also had began forming behavioral issues which are still a problem today.
So I came into school halfway through 3rd grade and I was behind all the kids. They were further ahead in all subjects except for reading.
Reading and watching movies became very important to me in my abused years because each one allowed me to escape to somewhere different where I wasn't being hit or dehumanized. I could be any person in the story. My favorite movie was Matilda because it was about a kid with bad parents and a bad school principal. I could related to the parents part and the girl was my age. We both had a good ending to our bad parents but I didn't have telekenesis powers to solve mine.
So my parents were trying to help me catch up by doing math flashcards and stuff. I did eventually although I think it was halfway thorugh fourth grade. And even so I had behavioral problems. I got into trouble for name calling alot. Apparently I had a little gang but I didn't see it like that. I just saw it as kids calling other kids name. We'd fit right in in high school. My behavioral problems are still bad to this day.

So that's pretty much it. The exciting non-teenage life of TIMMY!!!